The Tools to Support You After Birth
Like many first-time mums, when preparing for the arrival of our newborn, my priorities may have been a little misaligned. My focus was on setting up the perfect nursery and buying all the ‘must-have’ products in the hope that they would work their magic and give me the happiest baby. Unfortunately, none of these things would assist and prepare me for postpartum and the challenges ahead.
To bring you up to speed, my birth didn’t go to plan, well in the direction I was hoping it would take, but whose does, I guess. I had planned to have a vaginal birth however due to an uncooperative cervix and a baby with a large head, I was whisked into theatre after nine hours of active labour, welcoming my son through the sunroof.
Because I had not planned for a c section delivery, I was not prepared for the pain and exhaustion I was feeling. My body felt weak and depleted. I had decided to give breast feeding a go so I was also emotionally and mentally drained from the feeds.
Luckily, I had some resources set up and some savvy mammas in my community to guide me along the way and make sure I had support throughout my journey.
These are the tools you need on standby before baby arrives, the tools that will change the first three months for any new mum and I will explain why.
Postpartum Doula
Following the death of my mum in 2016, I had been apprehensive to have children without her guidance and care. I had mentioned my concerns to friends and in response, at my baby shower a friend offered me the gift of a postpartum doula. I was originally unsure about how it would work as I am a private person, but I thought the additional support in those early weeks could be helpful. After speaking with Kate, I knew a support like hers was exactly what I would need.
If you aren’t sure what a postpartum doula does, they come into your home and look after your baby while you take the time to do some selfcare. Selfcare looks different for everyone so what you do with this time is completely up to you. I chose to use the time to rest, get outside for walks and journal. In the early weeks, mothers tend to feel like they can’t take time for themselves. Societal pressures play in your mind about the type of mother you need to be which adds to the mental load.
Kate took those pressures away and created a safe and supportive space for me to find myself, get to know my new identity and start some really useful habits that are the foundation of my every day. She listened to how I was feeling, what I was going through and gave me the tools that I needed.
My advice to you is, if you don’t have a mother figure or someone who can be there to help you, this is an alternative. Even if you do have a supportive family, a doula is still such a great support.
If this isn’t something you can afford, you could suggest the option to your friends, and they can gift it to you instead of baby shower gifts. Alternatively, instead of buying that super expensive nursery set, find some pieces on Facebook marketplace and use the savings for a gift that you will ACTUALLY need.
If you are in the Canberra region, check out Kate here www.holdingmumpostpartum.com.au
Lactation consultant
We’ve all seen the beautiful images of a mother cradling her child while she breastfeeds. I, like many women felt that breastfeeding would be the least of my concerns. I have decent sized breasts my milk came in straight away and my nipples are a good size. I was completely fooled though! Breastfeeding has without a doubt been the most mentally challenging thing I’ve ever done.
The issues for me were endless. Leo wasn’t latching properly due to an undiagnosed tongue tie. I had engorged breasts for months which then resulted in heavy letdown. Leo just couldn’t handle it so every feed would result in back arching and crying. I got to a stage where I resented the idea of feeding. I was so embarrassed and exhausted by my body. I can finally openly say that the negative self-talk was intense and overwhelming.
I was given advice from a friend to see a lactation consultant, and everything changed from there. She reviewed Leo and discovered his tongue tie which she rectified. We worked on feeding positions, and she supported me with encouragement throughout the process.
For those living in the Canberra and Queanbeyan region, I encourage you to seek the services of Mother Hub here www.themotherhub.com.au
Nutrition
Let’s face it, whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding, caring for a baby is hard work. It is essential for every Mumma to be consuming nutrient rich foods so you can at minimum, keep functioning. I am a big foodie and love eating wholesome meals, so I was very motivated to engage family, a meal delivery service, and the expertise of my husband to have meals ready that were healthy.
Here’s a few healthy meal options to suit a variety of budgets and support.
Freeze to please and do a big batch cook up before bub arrives. Remember to label your containers.
Start a meal train with family and friends. A meal train is a food delivery roster which I would recommend starting a couple of weeks following the birth.
Arrange a monthly meal plan of premade frozen meals.
If you are up to the challenge, seek a meal kit delivery service such as Marley Spoon or Hello Fresh. Meal delivery service options are great for busy families who are time poor but enjoy cooking and want to eat healthier.
If friends or family would like to bring something when visiting the baby, you could suggest a love delivery. A love delivery is a meal or care package for someone who is healing. If you’re the person preparing the delivery, I suggest checking if the recipient has any food allergies, aversions or dietary requirements.
Pelvic health physiotherapist
A woman’s quality of life is significantly impacted by four key life stages including menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth and menopause. To support the pelvic floor during each of these stages, I would recommend all women see a pelvic health physiotherapist (physio).
As a private patient, I was given access to a pelvic health physio following the birth of my son. The physio was able to give me an examination to determine the level of abdominal separation and overall pelvic health.
This assessment set the tone for my recovery and journey back into exercise. Without seeing her, I would not have had the knowledge or education to make healthy movement choices.
I also started seeing a pelvic health physio when I was around 20 weeks into my pregnancy due to rib pain. If I had my time over, I would have seen her at the very beginning of my pregnancy to have a baseline to compare my body to following Leo’s birth. If you have the chance, make an appointment at the start of your pregnancy.
Exercise
When talking about the importance of exercise in the first three months post birth, I do not mean lifting weights and going for runs. Your body has been through one of the most intense transformations and it’s housed a small human so let’s be realistic about what you can achieve. It’s vital that you start small and work your way up.
Exercise is important in postpartum as it promotes weight loss, boosts energy and mood, strengthens and tones muscles and overall improves cardiovascular health. It’s a no brainer right, but also easier said than done.
So what exercise am I referring to? When I refer to exercise, I mean low impact activities such as walks, pelvic exercises and yoga. You do not want to raise yuour heart rate too high or strain yourself.
When I came home from the hospital, my goal was to walk for 15 minutes twice a day for the first week. A family member would come with me and push Leo in the pram. Each week I increased the distance by five minutes. This advice was given to me by a pelvic health physio and I would recommend getting a plan from one before leaving hospital.
At six weeks, I had my review with my obstetrician, and she was happy with my progress. Following this appointment, I went on to see my pelvic health physio who evaluated me for more intense workouts.
Looking back, I do believe that making the time from the beginning set me up with good practices which I have maintained and built upon. Some days I do not go outside, IYKYK right? But that’s okay too. Read your body and mind and remember, even on the hardest of days, just a short walk in the sunshine can change your energy and mood.
And finally, remember to be kind to yourself. Motherhood is a journey, not a race.